Expectations

Day 4

THE FOURTH OF JULY!  My all time favorite holiday, hands down.  I love the family togetherness, the food, the sun, the fire works, the warmth and outdoors!  I have had my disappointments in previous years though. 

There was the year it rained, and the year after that when it rained again!  One year we had a picnic on our nasty pink carpet (we had just moved into a fixer upper house then too), with bologna salad, Doritos and diet pop.  Another year we spent it driving home from Kansas (in my husbands defense, we did celebrate it the day before).  So, I’ve had my fair share of disappointing Fourth of Julys (I looked that up, that is the proper plural form of July, you learn something new every day).  And the one thing in common is expectations. 

Expectations can be there and you don’t even realize it.  I have, mostly out of spite, turned my back on the Fourth of July and crossed my arms and given a big “humph” and declared that I would never “expect” anything from the day again.  That never works.  This year, I just was too tired to have expectations.  Or maybe I just truly expected to have a rotten day?  I really don’t know.  But, I do know that the day was fantastic. 

After a long talk on the phone with my dear mother, and much thought, I have come to the conclusion that my attitude (due in part from being able to blog about my situation in a humorous light) about life has taken an unexpected turn, for the better.  I thank God for this change.  With out it, I am sure I would be huddled in a corner some where, crying my eyes out, asking God what in the world He is doing, and what in the world does He want me to do.

So back to the Fourth, a very fun day, even if it did not have as much family, food, sun or outdoors as I would have normally liked.  For lunch we had thick peanut butter and jelly sandwiches!  I tell you, what is more American than that?!?!?  (When I asked Josh this same question, he did not even hesitate for a moment to say, “Hamburgers.”  *shaking head*) The kids played in the little kiddy pool for 3 hours straight.  It was glorious.  While they were so happy and entertained, with out ME, and Anna was taking the longest nap she has taken in days, Josh and I were doing my favorite thing- ORGANIZING!  He had finished mowing the lawn that morning, and that brought a sense of peace and organization all its own.  I am not quite sure why.  I won’t bore you (seriously, I started to type out all the things I organized before I realized most of you could care less) with all the details, but it was glorious.  And it made life just a bit easier.  Thank you, Lord.  We also purchased a grill, and a rotisserie thing-a-ma-bobby.  We cooked up a whole chicken, and let me tell you, it was worth every penny!  Seriously.  Of course, Realist Josh, when asked what could have been better, with out hesitating said, “Steaks.”  *shaking head again*

The evening came upon us quickly, as we literally saw a front move in, and big storm clouds swoop down.  It was, in a word, beautiful.  We kicked butts into gear and got everything put away, and everyone into the camper before the storm hit.  It was only six o’clock, so we got out the card games and put in A Horse and His Boy by C.S. Lewis (we have the dramatized version, on CD, in a word, AWESOME).  It is by far my favorite one of the series.  My littlest boy almost made it through the whole book (more than 3 hours), but headed to bed by saying, “I have to get to sleep; I have a big day tomorrow.”  (It’s his birthday today.) 

All in all it was a great day.  And I am thankful for all the days that have brought me to this point.  This journey I am on is an amazing one- even if sometimes I have to hold on to the rails, squeeze my eyes shut and say, “Help me God,” over and over.